Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Daily Urban Definition
Directionally Challenged:
1. Someone who has difficulty determining right from left.
2. Someone who often confuses directions and prefers visual aids.
3. Someone who has great difficulty reading maps and/or driving while listening to directions.
1. Someone who has difficulty determining right from left.
2. Someone who often confuses directions and prefers visual aids.
3. Someone who has great difficulty reading maps and/or driving while listening to directions.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Tech Tip of the Day
Permanent Delete Shortcut:
In Windows (XP, Vista, 7), if you want to delete a file or folder permanently without going it to Recycle Bin, you can press Shift + Del by selecting that file or folder.
In Windows (XP, Vista, 7), if you want to delete a file or folder permanently without going it to Recycle Bin, you can press Shift + Del by selecting that file or folder.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Daily Urban Definition
March 29: college morning
(noun) 1. Afternoon.
College Student A: "I don't have the money right now, can I pay you back tomorrow?"College Student B: "Sure, just come by tomorrow morning."College Student A: "Okay!"THE NEXT DAY, 9 AMCollege Student A: "Hey, I have your money!"College Student B: (waking up) "Goddamn it, I meant COLLEGE MORNING."
(noun) 1. Afternoon.
College Student A: "I don't have the money right now, can I pay you back tomorrow?"College Student B: "Sure, just come by tomorrow morning."College Student A: "Okay!"THE NEXT DAY, 9 AMCollege Student A: "Hey, I have your money!"College Student B: (waking up) "Goddamn it, I meant COLLEGE MORNING."
Daily Urban Definition
March 28: pen you in
A play on the phrase "pencil you in" but adds additional emphasis on the intention of the commitment.
remley: hey wanna get some sushi tomorrow? erica: most deff. i will pen you into my schedule.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
8 things I am tired of seeing in the movies....
Cliches… Formulas… whatever terminology you like to call them by, there are certain repeated patterns in films that we’ve all seen a thousands times. Some of those Formulas are fine. For example, the mom who loves her kids… that’s not a stretch and we expect it in normal life, so we expect no less in a movie. However, there are other formulas in films that would have you and I believe they are the norm in real life… when they really aren’t. These can be fine too and not irritate us… but then there are these cliches that I really get sick of and wish more films would avoid.
So now I present to you, in no particular order, the 8 things I’m sick of seeing in movies:
1 – The current boyfriend/husband of the main character’s would be love interest is a total jerk
THE CLICHE: You know what I’m talking about. The “hero” of the film loves a girl, but the girl has a boyfriend. Already you know there is a 97% chance that this boyfriend will end up being a total dick. He yells at her, demeans her, doesn’t respect her. You can’t imagine why on earth she’s with him in the first place… but whatever the reason it doesn’t matter, because you know she’s going to end up with the hero in the end anyway when she finally sees the jerk in question for what he is, and leaves him for the hero.
THE REALITY: Yeah, that girl you dig… well her boyfriend 9 times out of 10 is better looking, funnier, smarter, richer and all round a better person that you… loser.
2 – If a fight breaks out in a bar/restaurant, EVERYONE will jump in
THE CLICHE: Almost without exception, if two people start fighting in a bar or restaurant in a movie, everyone else will join in. Hell, they’ll start swinging at each other for no good reason other than the fact that a couple of other guys seem to be doing. Chalk it up to bar peer pressure I guess.
THE REALITY: I’ve seen my fair share of fights break out at clubs/bars. Not once have I ever seen it get beyond a couple of people before the bouncers end up kicking their drunk asses than throwing them the hell out
3 – No spunk after the hump
THE CLICHE: OK, I don’t mean to sound vulgar or anything (I usually leave that to Doug) but we’ve all seen this a hundred times in movies and we all collectively say under our breath “yeah right”. A couple at some sort of public function or fancy dinner quickly ducks behind a wall, or into another room for a quickie. They go at it practically fully clothed and when they’re “done” they just take a couple of deep breaths, run their fingers through their hair and then return to join the other guests as if nothing happened.
THE REALITY: Sex makes a mess… I’ll just leave it at that.
4 – Terrorists are always considerate enough to have large built in digital count down clocks in their explosives so the hero can know exactly how much time he/she has left
NO FURTHER EXPLANATION NEEDED
5 – Shot in the shoulder? No problem!
THE CLICHE: Usually in action flicks, the hero will take a bullet. But fortunately it didn’t hit his face, or his heart. Usually it’s the shoulder or leg or something like that. When this happens, the hero grimaces for a few moments, then the goes on fighting.
THE REALITY: Guess what. When you’re shot in the leg, you don’t walk anymore. You don’t walk with a limp, or just slowed down… you don’t walk PERIOD. Got shot in the shoulder? Yeah, you can’t throw punches anymore. Every time you even think about breathing you scream like a little girl.
6 – Everyone everywhere knows Morse Code
7 – I know you’re about to say something important, but let me interrupt you with unrelated information that will unwittingly douse what you were about to say
THE CLICHE: Son is out to dinner with his parents and has built up the courage to tell them that he’s gay. He says “Mom, Dad… I want you to know I love you, and that’s why I’ve decided to tell you this very important thing about myself and my life…” The dad suddenly cuts in “Before you go on Nick, have I told you how much I hate fags recently?” Son then changes topics and pretends like the news he was about to give was about a car or something else. This is also done with girl trying to tell boyfriend she’s pregnant. Boy trying to tell girl pal he loves her. The combinations are endless.
THE REALITY: The human race are a bunch of inconsiderate animals… but generally I’ve always found when I say “I’ve got something important to say” and then start telling them what it is… no one has ever suddenly cut me off to mention something totally unrelated.
8 – Delayed information equals certain death
THE CLICHE: Two people are talking in a perfectly good spot when person “A” says to person “B”: “I’ve got to tell you something that will alter the destiny of the human race”. Person “B” is obviously intrigued and asks what this information is. Then, for NO GOOD REASON person “A” says something like: “Not here… meet me later at this other place”. Sure enough, you know that person “A” will be killed before he can ever tell his secret.
THE REALITY: Someone says they know something important… then I’m getting them to tell me right then and there.
You may ask “Joe, why just 8 instead of 10″? Cause I’m breaking the cliche
So now I present to you, in no particular order, the 8 things I’m sick of seeing in movies:
1 – The current boyfriend/husband of the main character’s would be love interest is a total jerk
THE CLICHE: You know what I’m talking about. The “hero” of the film loves a girl, but the girl has a boyfriend. Already you know there is a 97% chance that this boyfriend will end up being a total dick. He yells at her, demeans her, doesn’t respect her. You can’t imagine why on earth she’s with him in the first place… but whatever the reason it doesn’t matter, because you know she’s going to end up with the hero in the end anyway when she finally sees the jerk in question for what he is, and leaves him for the hero.
THE REALITY: Yeah, that girl you dig… well her boyfriend 9 times out of 10 is better looking, funnier, smarter, richer and all round a better person that you… loser.
2 – If a fight breaks out in a bar/restaurant, EVERYONE will jump in
THE CLICHE: Almost without exception, if two people start fighting in a bar or restaurant in a movie, everyone else will join in. Hell, they’ll start swinging at each other for no good reason other than the fact that a couple of other guys seem to be doing. Chalk it up to bar peer pressure I guess.
THE REALITY: I’ve seen my fair share of fights break out at clubs/bars. Not once have I ever seen it get beyond a couple of people before the bouncers end up kicking their drunk asses than throwing them the hell out
3 – No spunk after the hump
THE CLICHE: OK, I don’t mean to sound vulgar or anything (I usually leave that to Doug) but we’ve all seen this a hundred times in movies and we all collectively say under our breath “yeah right”. A couple at some sort of public function or fancy dinner quickly ducks behind a wall, or into another room for a quickie. They go at it practically fully clothed and when they’re “done” they just take a couple of deep breaths, run their fingers through their hair and then return to join the other guests as if nothing happened.
THE REALITY: Sex makes a mess… I’ll just leave it at that.
4 – Terrorists are always considerate enough to have large built in digital count down clocks in their explosives so the hero can know exactly how much time he/she has left
NO FURTHER EXPLANATION NEEDED
5 – Shot in the shoulder? No problem!
THE CLICHE: Usually in action flicks, the hero will take a bullet. But fortunately it didn’t hit his face, or his heart. Usually it’s the shoulder or leg or something like that. When this happens, the hero grimaces for a few moments, then the goes on fighting.
THE REALITY: Guess what. When you’re shot in the leg, you don’t walk anymore. You don’t walk with a limp, or just slowed down… you don’t walk PERIOD. Got shot in the shoulder? Yeah, you can’t throw punches anymore. Every time you even think about breathing you scream like a little girl.
6 – Everyone everywhere knows Morse Code
7 – I know you’re about to say something important, but let me interrupt you with unrelated information that will unwittingly douse what you were about to say
THE CLICHE: Son is out to dinner with his parents and has built up the courage to tell them that he’s gay. He says “Mom, Dad… I want you to know I love you, and that’s why I’ve decided to tell you this very important thing about myself and my life…” The dad suddenly cuts in “Before you go on Nick, have I told you how much I hate fags recently?” Son then changes topics and pretends like the news he was about to give was about a car or something else. This is also done with girl trying to tell boyfriend she’s pregnant. Boy trying to tell girl pal he loves her. The combinations are endless.
THE REALITY: The human race are a bunch of inconsiderate animals… but generally I’ve always found when I say “I’ve got something important to say” and then start telling them what it is… no one has ever suddenly cut me off to mention something totally unrelated.
8 – Delayed information equals certain death
THE CLICHE: Two people are talking in a perfectly good spot when person “A” says to person “B”: “I’ve got to tell you something that will alter the destiny of the human race”. Person “B” is obviously intrigued and asks what this information is. Then, for NO GOOD REASON person “A” says something like: “Not here… meet me later at this other place”. Sure enough, you know that person “A” will be killed before he can ever tell his secret.
THE REALITY: Someone says they know something important… then I’m getting them to tell me right then and there.
You may ask “Joe, why just 8 instead of 10″? Cause I’m breaking the cliche
The Lazy Man's Guide to Time Travel
The Lazy Man's Guide to Time Travel
This weekend Hot Tub Time Machine takes time travel to new, relaxing heights by reducing bending the laws of space and time to a wild night drunk and naked in some bubbles. For today’s stylishly lazy slacker, time travel is only worth the trouble if it doesn’t take much effort. So what if you to visit the future and pick up one of those sweet flying cars but don’t want to have to put forward more effort than it takes to open a can of Pepsi? Don’t worry, science fiction history is full of easy, effort free ways to leap through time and watch your conception. Here’s 8 simple ways to become your own grandpa.
Get Frozen: It’s the next best thing to time travel by nap. Cryogenics is a tried and true staple of the time traveling genre. Freeze yourself and you’ll end up in the future. It was Cryogenics which accidentally brought slacker pizza delivery boy Philip J. Frye into an awesome, talking head future on Futurama. Of course it’s also responsible for Khan Noonien Singh, the genetic badass from the past who stuck a bug in Chekov’s ear while releasing his wrath during Star Trek II. You hop in a box, put your head on a pillow, get kind of cold, fall asleep, and when you wake up Taco Bell rules the world. Sure you might from the on out have a little trouble controlling the volume of your voice, but that’s a small price to pay for all the juice you can wheeze.
Ride A Time Jumping Island: All that time travel on Lost may look like kind of a pain in the ass, but it’s only because Jack and the gang don’t know how to relax. Sure you could run around the jungle pissing off the smoke monster, but if you’re on a time traveling tropical island, why not set up a lawn chair on the beach and wait for Kate to run by in a bikini instead? It’s a safe bet to assume that somewhere on the island there’s a supply of Dharma Mai Tais. Mix up a batch, fire up some Jimmy Buffet, then relax on the sand and embrace life as a time-traveling beach bum.
Be A Dick: We never really know exactly what it is that sends Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day character Phil back in time to repeat the same day over, and over, and over again. But near as I can tell, it’s mostly because he’s a dick. Let’s face it, being a dick can be kind of fun. If mocking old ladies and pushing dudes into puddles will give me the ability to time travel, then count me in. Quantum Leap had it all wrong. Master the universe by being one of the most loathsome members of the human race. Travel through time with the Bill Murray method and when you’re finished, simply tongue Andie MacDowell back when she was still hot, and you’ll find yourself back home. What’s all this bullshit about setting things right? Screw you Sam Beckett.
Read Your Journal: In The Butterfly Effect Ashton Kutcher plays a guy who can travel back in time simply by reading his diary. Even more surprising, Ashton Kutcher can read. Granted, time travel through reading seems to result in a pretty terrible headache, but as long as you’ve got a bottle of Advil it’s a minimum effort way to change your past. There’s no slingshot around the sun or complicated, outer-space singularity required. All you need is a third-grade education and a lifelong habit of taking extensive notes. Just be careful where you step, the butterfly you crush today could be your uncle tomorrow… or something.
Find A Shiny Medallion: In Black Knight Martin Lawrence is the janitor at a medieval theme park. He’s basically a loser slacker who, stumbles on a medallion in the park moat and is instantly transported back in time to England where his life is suddenly awesome. Science? Who needs it. Why spend the time and money necessary to invent a flux capacitor when you can get a minimum wage job, fall in some water, and wake up as Sir Lancelot? All you really need for time travel is bad balance and a pair of floaties. Wet medallion. It’s the slacker way to leap through time.
Get Kidnapped by Aliens: In Flight of the Navigator 12-year-old David falls in a 1978 ditch and when he wakes up a few hours later it’s 1986. Though the world has moved on, for him no time has passed, and it’s all thanks to alien kidnappers who whisked him away in stasis for further study and then dropped him back on planet Earth when they were done probing him. David on the other hand, remembers nothing, so there’s no anal probe trauma to deal with. It’s really the laziest way possible to go, the time traveling equivalent of sticking out your thumb and hitching a ride. As a bonus, this time traveling method often results in time spent flirting with a twenty-year-old Sarah Jessica Parker. Worth it.
Disobey Orders: Dave Lister is laziness given form, so when he travels three million years into the future, you know it didn’t take much effort. On Red Dwarf he disobeys orders by smuggling a cat on board, and as punishment he’s thrown in stasis. There’s an accident, everyone else on board ends up dead, and it’s three-million years before anyone bothers to let him out. Later in the series Lister does a lot more traveling, using such vague devices as a “time hole”. Mostly, time traveling for Dave Lister seems to involve forgetting to duck. If you’re looking for a way to go back in time to talk John F. Kennedy into assassinating yourself, then disobey orders and tag along with Dave.
This weekend Hot Tub Time Machine takes time travel to new, relaxing heights by reducing bending the laws of space and time to a wild night drunk and naked in some bubbles. For today’s stylishly lazy slacker, time travel is only worth the trouble if it doesn’t take much effort. So what if you to visit the future and pick up one of those sweet flying cars but don’t want to have to put forward more effort than it takes to open a can of Pepsi? Don’t worry, science fiction history is full of easy, effort free ways to leap through time and watch your conception. Here’s 8 simple ways to become your own grandpa.
Get Frozen: It’s the next best thing to time travel by nap. Cryogenics is a tried and true staple of the time traveling genre. Freeze yourself and you’ll end up in the future. It was Cryogenics which accidentally brought slacker pizza delivery boy Philip J. Frye into an awesome, talking head future on Futurama. Of course it’s also responsible for Khan Noonien Singh, the genetic badass from the past who stuck a bug in Chekov’s ear while releasing his wrath during Star Trek II. You hop in a box, put your head on a pillow, get kind of cold, fall asleep, and when you wake up Taco Bell rules the world. Sure you might from the on out have a little trouble controlling the volume of your voice, but that’s a small price to pay for all the juice you can wheeze.
Ride A Time Jumping Island: All that time travel on Lost may look like kind of a pain in the ass, but it’s only because Jack and the gang don’t know how to relax. Sure you could run around the jungle pissing off the smoke monster, but if you’re on a time traveling tropical island, why not set up a lawn chair on the beach and wait for Kate to run by in a bikini instead? It’s a safe bet to assume that somewhere on the island there’s a supply of Dharma Mai Tais. Mix up a batch, fire up some Jimmy Buffet, then relax on the sand and embrace life as a time-traveling beach bum.
Be A Dick: We never really know exactly what it is that sends Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day character Phil back in time to repeat the same day over, and over, and over again. But near as I can tell, it’s mostly because he’s a dick. Let’s face it, being a dick can be kind of fun. If mocking old ladies and pushing dudes into puddles will give me the ability to time travel, then count me in. Quantum Leap had it all wrong. Master the universe by being one of the most loathsome members of the human race. Travel through time with the Bill Murray method and when you’re finished, simply tongue Andie MacDowell back when she was still hot, and you’ll find yourself back home. What’s all this bullshit about setting things right? Screw you Sam Beckett.
Make A Call: If you want to know when the Mongols ruled China, just make a call. In Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure time travel was so easy, even a couple of idiots could do it, and did. A phone booth falls out of the sky, you dial a number, and suddenly you’re hanging out with Socrates learning his most excellent method. Sure a lot of work probably went in to making these time traveling telephones, but the guys who made them don’t seem to want anything in exchange for their use except a quarter. Dial up Lincoln and plan an outing at the food court, but leave that short dead dude Napoleon where he belongs, in the past.
Read Your Journal: In The Butterfly Effect Ashton Kutcher plays a guy who can travel back in time simply by reading his diary. Even more surprising, Ashton Kutcher can read. Granted, time travel through reading seems to result in a pretty terrible headache, but as long as you’ve got a bottle of Advil it’s a minimum effort way to change your past. There’s no slingshot around the sun or complicated, outer-space singularity required. All you need is a third-grade education and a lifelong habit of taking extensive notes. Just be careful where you step, the butterfly you crush today could be your uncle tomorrow… or something.
Find A Shiny Medallion: In Black Knight Martin Lawrence is the janitor at a medieval theme park. He’s basically a loser slacker who, stumbles on a medallion in the park moat and is instantly transported back in time to England where his life is suddenly awesome. Science? Who needs it. Why spend the time and money necessary to invent a flux capacitor when you can get a minimum wage job, fall in some water, and wake up as Sir Lancelot? All you really need for time travel is bad balance and a pair of floaties. Wet medallion. It’s the slacker way to leap through time.
Get Kidnapped by Aliens: In Flight of the Navigator 12-year-old David falls in a 1978 ditch and when he wakes up a few hours later it’s 1986. Though the world has moved on, for him no time has passed, and it’s all thanks to alien kidnappers who whisked him away in stasis for further study and then dropped him back on planet Earth when they were done probing him. David on the other hand, remembers nothing, so there’s no anal probe trauma to deal with. It’s really the laziest way possible to go, the time traveling equivalent of sticking out your thumb and hitching a ride. As a bonus, this time traveling method often results in time spent flirting with a twenty-year-old Sarah Jessica Parker. Worth it.
Disobey Orders: Dave Lister is laziness given form, so when he travels three million years into the future, you know it didn’t take much effort. On Red Dwarf he disobeys orders by smuggling a cat on board, and as punishment he’s thrown in stasis. There’s an accident, everyone else on board ends up dead, and it’s three-million years before anyone bothers to let him out. Later in the series Lister does a lot more traveling, using such vague devices as a “time hole”. Mostly, time traveling for Dave Lister seems to involve forgetting to duck. If you’re looking for a way to go back in time to talk John F. Kennedy into assassinating yourself, then disobey orders and tag along with Dave.
Enough about Tiger Woods...
Enough, enough with Tiger Woods
OK, I have had it with the Tiger Woods story. I am sick of instant experts being trotted out to tell me how Tiger OWES it to the public (read that to mean the media) to go public and tell all; bare his soul to the world.
Well Tiger isn’t going to do that – at least I hope he doesn’t get pressured into doing that. This is something that he has to deal with at home and privately. Why the hell would he come on TV and embarrass his wife and family further.
We have seen an endless line of politicians doing that, with the long-suffering wife standing beside them, giving their ’support’ and forgiveness for the pol’s transgressions. How humiliating!
But Tiger isn’t looking to get re-elected or even keep his job. He is still the greatest golfer in the world and people will still come out in droves to watch him dominate.
Right now some idiot is on the golf channel spouting off that “we” need to see Tiger “ourselves” although I am not sure why. What Tiger does with his personal life is his business and has nothing to do with anything that affects me.
There is nothing that Woods can do about the media stories that have been written already nor those that will be written in the future. All he can do is control his own actions from here on in.
The only thing that blows me away – and this is not just with Tiger – is how these high profile athletes and politicians and the like really expect to step out of line and get away with it. Tiger has been called the most recognizable athlete in the world. Really, how dumb-assed was he to think that something like this wouldn’t become public at some point. I’m just surprised that it played out the way it did.
But this too will pass. It’s not like he’s the only rich and famous person to stray from the straight and narrow and he sure as hell won’t be the last.
Was it Lee Trevino who early on in Tiger’s career speculated that the only things that could stall Tiger’s march to become the greatest golfer in history was an injury or a bad marriage? So far he’s survived the injury.
Probably a damned good thing that Earl isn’t still around though.
OK, I have had it with the Tiger Woods story. I am sick of instant experts being trotted out to tell me how Tiger OWES it to the public (read that to mean the media) to go public and tell all; bare his soul to the world.
Well Tiger isn’t going to do that – at least I hope he doesn’t get pressured into doing that. This is something that he has to deal with at home and privately. Why the hell would he come on TV and embarrass his wife and family further.
We have seen an endless line of politicians doing that, with the long-suffering wife standing beside them, giving their ’support’ and forgiveness for the pol’s transgressions. How humiliating!
But Tiger isn’t looking to get re-elected or even keep his job. He is still the greatest golfer in the world and people will still come out in droves to watch him dominate.
Right now some idiot is on the golf channel spouting off that “we” need to see Tiger “ourselves” although I am not sure why. What Tiger does with his personal life is his business and has nothing to do with anything that affects me.
There is nothing that Woods can do about the media stories that have been written already nor those that will be written in the future. All he can do is control his own actions from here on in.
The only thing that blows me away – and this is not just with Tiger – is how these high profile athletes and politicians and the like really expect to step out of line and get away with it. Tiger has been called the most recognizable athlete in the world. Really, how dumb-assed was he to think that something like this wouldn’t become public at some point. I’m just surprised that it played out the way it did.
But this too will pass. It’s not like he’s the only rich and famous person to stray from the straight and narrow and he sure as hell won’t be the last.
Was it Lee Trevino who early on in Tiger’s career speculated that the only things that could stall Tiger’s march to become the greatest golfer in history was an injury or a bad marriage? So far he’s survived the injury.
Probably a damned good thing that Earl isn’t still around though.
Some great truisms...
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Would Heroes be better if it had ended with the bomb in Season 1?
After the fourth season of Heroes, I started thinking about the first season, reminiscing about how good it was. One of the things that struck me was that in season one there was direction. There were goals (“save the cheerleader, save the world”), there were definite, clear cut villains (Sylar), and there was promise of interesting things to come (dark Hiro).
In fact, one of my favorite episodes from season one was “Five Years Gone” when Hiro and Ando traveled into the future where the exploding man had gone off, destroying New York City. It featured a dark vision of the future, with lots of the familiar characters in unfamiliar situations.
Now, about two years later, I’m wondering if the future that we caught a glimpse of in that episode would be a whole lot more entertaining to watch than the past couple seasons of Heroes.
The more I think of it, the more upset I am that all the heroes saved the day at the end of the first season. It would have been a really bold artistic choice to let the destruction of New York occur, and I think it would have allowed the characters to evolve and become a lot more interesting. I would like to think that Hiro would be doing something a little more compelling than using his powers to stop a coworker from photocopying his ass. Who knows, maybe he would even be fighting crime, kicking some butt with his big sword.
I could get behind a show with an angry, overpowered Peter, a scheming Sylar, a shady government, and general mayhem. Think back to that great episode. Even Nikki was interesting. Nikki! How great would it be if we got to watch Noah running around bagging and tagging supers, Mohinder working with Nathan/Sylar in the white house, trying to find a cure for the superpowers, or Matt actually doing something with his life?
Alas, it just wasn’t meant to be. The makers of Heroes chose a … different path. What do you think, would Heroes be a better show today if the bomb had blown in season one?
In fact, one of my favorite episodes from season one was “Five Years Gone” when Hiro and Ando traveled into the future where the exploding man had gone off, destroying New York City. It featured a dark vision of the future, with lots of the familiar characters in unfamiliar situations.
Now, about two years later, I’m wondering if the future that we caught a glimpse of in that episode would be a whole lot more entertaining to watch than the past couple seasons of Heroes.
The more I think of it, the more upset I am that all the heroes saved the day at the end of the first season. It would have been a really bold artistic choice to let the destruction of New York occur, and I think it would have allowed the characters to evolve and become a lot more interesting. I would like to think that Hiro would be doing something a little more compelling than using his powers to stop a coworker from photocopying his ass. Who knows, maybe he would even be fighting crime, kicking some butt with his big sword.
I could get behind a show with an angry, overpowered Peter, a scheming Sylar, a shady government, and general mayhem. Think back to that great episode. Even Nikki was interesting. Nikki! How great would it be if we got to watch Noah running around bagging and tagging supers, Mohinder working with Nathan/Sylar in the white house, trying to find a cure for the superpowers, or Matt actually doing something with his life?
Alas, it just wasn’t meant to be. The makers of Heroes chose a … different path. What do you think, would Heroes be a better show today if the bomb had blown in season one?
Daily Urban Definition
March 26: stoplight party
A party where guests wear the the colors of the traffic signal to denote their relationship status: green means they're single, red means they're taken, and yellow means their relationship status is "complicated"
I think we should host a Valentine's Day stoplight party!
A party where guests wear the the colors of the traffic signal to denote their relationship status: green means they're single, red means they're taken, and yellow means their relationship status is "complicated"
I think we should host a Valentine's Day stoplight party!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
8 people you will find hanging in a music store
I myself am no musician. I can’t read music (or English) and my rhythm has been suspect since I hit my head after falling out of one of those paddle boats shaped like a swan (I was a mere 23 at the time.) However, a lot of people that I know do enjoy playing music. Over the years, I’ve accompany those people to various music stores in different locations all over the country.Now, I’m not saying that all of the people listed below are in every music store that you go into. But chances are that you’ve seen a few of these people if you’ve ever worked or visited a store that exclusively sold musical instruments. Although, if you go to a Guitar Center on the right weekend, you may just end up seeing them all. Worse than that, you’ll probably end up having to hear most of them too…
1 The guy starting a band
There always seems to be one guy just walking around sort of checking out some guitars, while secretly casing the place for a new bass guitarist. He sort of hovers over other people testing stuff out the acoustic instruments section; waiting for a song he knows, so he can strike up a conversation. Every step you take; every move you make; he’ll be watching you. Just like Sting. And Chuck Berry…
2 The guy there promoting his concert
Usually loitering near the register. Chats up people and tells them, “Yeah, I’m in a band called Dr. Rockupuss. We’re kind of like if The Clash met The Strokes and had a baby that was kidnapped by Slash, but raised by a benevolent half-man half-Ziggy Stardust unicorn.” There is always a guy there just hanging around giving out fliers to a concert or chatting up one of the sales clerks. He’ll pretend like he’s looking for a specific pick or drum stick, but everyone knows the guys is just there to try and sell you on coming to his house show.
3 The guy who just wants to play as loud as possible
The dude that comes goes to Guitar Center just to rock the house like Pantera. He’s not looking for the most acoustically flawless guitar; he’s looking for the ax that goes to 11. And when he launches into “Smoke On The Water” with a guitar shaped like a naked lady on a sailboat–nobody in the store will be able to deny his raucous, aural superiority. What’s got two thumbs and two ruptured eardrums? What? I said, what’s got two thumbs and two ruptured eardrums?
4 The girl (any girl)
Anything that has breasts and walks into a store that more time than not will be 100% full of males will automatically get all the attention in the store. Doesn’t matter what she’s looking for. She could be trying out tambourines for two hours and nobody would say a word about the racket. Try and get waited on in a music store when a hot girl walks in. Not gonna happen. Even in a store where everyone is in a band…the boobs will always be more important than the music.
5 The person who just wants to be praised on his/her abilities
This is the person that takes out a guitar near the middle of the store and proceeds to play the most complicated song he or she knows. This person has spent hours and hours alone in their room for months on end, practicing a song that they can play in public. They have sacrificed their social life just to be in the spotlight for 5 minutes at a Guitar Center in Wichita, Kansas. These folks seem to be gauging the crowd reaction to see if they should take playing music a step further. Most don’t look like they do, but here comes that lurking man we already talked about…
6 The guy who works at the store that’s upset that no one is actually there to buy an instrument
A lot of people who work in music stores seem defeated. I don’t blame them. They have to work at a place where they don’t sell a lot of merchandise and yet, lots of people come in to test out their products. Most just pretend they are interested in what the store is selling. It’s like going to a time-share presentation that is somehow more excruciating than a regular time-share presentation. You see the harp in the corner of the store? I mean come on, how many people have you ever seen buying a harp? If there was a mandolin in this room would you even be able to point it out? I don’t blame these people for sometimes looking surly. Imagine how many times you‘ve heard “Stairway to Heaven” and then multiply that by a hundred. That’s what that person lives through everyday.
7 The person that has zero music experience but plays anyway
That’s me on the bongos mother f@#*ers! Is that a lute over there? I don’t even know how to play a lute, but that’s not going to stop me from trying. Oh boy, I want to play the cymbals! I need more cowbell! Man, I wonder if this song is as annoying as it sounds. Hey, Smoke On The Water, guy–we gotta rock this house to the ground. Bring the funk in 3…2…1…FUNK! That’s right, I’m the most annoying person in the music store because I drink coffee, have no discernable rhythm and like to bang the hell out of things with sticks. Wake Me Up, BEFORE YOU GO–GO. DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING ON LIKE A– OK, I’ll leave. This is me leaving. Wait, did I hear someone yell “Freebird?”
8 The guy in front of the store making sound effects and singing
Hey that disheveled old lady sounds familiar. And she looks familiar. Looks like a homeless version of David Lee Roth. Oh my God, he IS David Lee Roth! The Scoobeedeedoobittybop-dittybop years haven‘t been good to him. He looks sad and lonely. Tell him we’ve got whiskey and sandwiches–see if he’ll come home and play Guitar Hero with us.
1 The guy starting a band
There always seems to be one guy just walking around sort of checking out some guitars, while secretly casing the place for a new bass guitarist. He sort of hovers over other people testing stuff out the acoustic instruments section; waiting for a song he knows, so he can strike up a conversation. Every step you take; every move you make; he’ll be watching you. Just like Sting. And Chuck Berry…
2 The guy there promoting his concert
Usually loitering near the register. Chats up people and tells them, “Yeah, I’m in a band called Dr. Rockupuss. We’re kind of like if The Clash met The Strokes and had a baby that was kidnapped by Slash, but raised by a benevolent half-man half-Ziggy Stardust unicorn.” There is always a guy there just hanging around giving out fliers to a concert or chatting up one of the sales clerks. He’ll pretend like he’s looking for a specific pick or drum stick, but everyone knows the guys is just there to try and sell you on coming to his house show.
3 The guy who just wants to play as loud as possible
The dude that comes goes to Guitar Center just to rock the house like Pantera. He’s not looking for the most acoustically flawless guitar; he’s looking for the ax that goes to 11. And when he launches into “Smoke On The Water” with a guitar shaped like a naked lady on a sailboat–nobody in the store will be able to deny his raucous, aural superiority. What’s got two thumbs and two ruptured eardrums? What? I said, what’s got two thumbs and two ruptured eardrums?
4 The girl (any girl)
Anything that has breasts and walks into a store that more time than not will be 100% full of males will automatically get all the attention in the store. Doesn’t matter what she’s looking for. She could be trying out tambourines for two hours and nobody would say a word about the racket. Try and get waited on in a music store when a hot girl walks in. Not gonna happen. Even in a store where everyone is in a band…the boobs will always be more important than the music.
5 The person who just wants to be praised on his/her abilities
This is the person that takes out a guitar near the middle of the store and proceeds to play the most complicated song he or she knows. This person has spent hours and hours alone in their room for months on end, practicing a song that they can play in public. They have sacrificed their social life just to be in the spotlight for 5 minutes at a Guitar Center in Wichita, Kansas. These folks seem to be gauging the crowd reaction to see if they should take playing music a step further. Most don’t look like they do, but here comes that lurking man we already talked about…
6 The guy who works at the store that’s upset that no one is actually there to buy an instrument
A lot of people who work in music stores seem defeated. I don’t blame them. They have to work at a place where they don’t sell a lot of merchandise and yet, lots of people come in to test out their products. Most just pretend they are interested in what the store is selling. It’s like going to a time-share presentation that is somehow more excruciating than a regular time-share presentation. You see the harp in the corner of the store? I mean come on, how many people have you ever seen buying a harp? If there was a mandolin in this room would you even be able to point it out? I don’t blame these people for sometimes looking surly. Imagine how many times you‘ve heard “Stairway to Heaven” and then multiply that by a hundred. That’s what that person lives through everyday.
7 The person that has zero music experience but plays anyway
That’s me on the bongos mother f@#*ers! Is that a lute over there? I don’t even know how to play a lute, but that’s not going to stop me from trying. Oh boy, I want to play the cymbals! I need more cowbell! Man, I wonder if this song is as annoying as it sounds. Hey, Smoke On The Water, guy–we gotta rock this house to the ground. Bring the funk in 3…2…1…FUNK! That’s right, I’m the most annoying person in the music store because I drink coffee, have no discernable rhythm and like to bang the hell out of things with sticks. Wake Me Up, BEFORE YOU GO–GO. DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING ON LIKE A– OK, I’ll leave. This is me leaving. Wait, did I hear someone yell “Freebird?”
8 The guy in front of the store making sound effects and singing
Hey that disheveled old lady sounds familiar. And she looks familiar. Looks like a homeless version of David Lee Roth. Oh my God, he IS David Lee Roth! The Scoobeedeedoobittybop-dittybop years haven‘t been good to him. He looks sad and lonely. Tell him we’ve got whiskey and sandwiches–see if he’ll come home and play Guitar Hero with us.
Urban definition of the day
March 25: Stealth-call
When you have to call someone back but don't want to talk to them, so you wait until you know they can't talk and leave a voice mail.
"I don't want to tell Karen I can't make it tonight, so I'll Stealth-call her when she's on her flight and has her phone shut off."
When you have to call someone back but don't want to talk to them, so you wait until you know they can't talk and leave a voice mail.
"I don't want to tell Karen I can't make it tonight, so I'll Stealth-call her when she's on her flight and has her phone shut off."
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